The 5 Stages of Grief: What They Mean and How to Cope

Stages of Grief
Grief is a universal experience, yet it feels deeply personal and often isolating. Whether you’re facing the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or a major life change, understanding what you’re going through can make a world of difference. That’s where the 5 stages of grief come in, a helpful framework that explains the emotional waves many of us ride during times of loss.
But what are the 5 stages of grief, and how do you move through them without feeling stuck? In this article, we’ll break down each stage in detail, clear up confusion around whether there are 5 or 7 stages of grief, and give you real tools for how to deal with the 5 stages of grief, at your own pace, and in your own way.

What Are the 5 Stages of Grief?

The 5 stages of grief, Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptanc,e are part of a psychological model developed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross to describe the emotional progression many people experience after a significant loss. Originally introduced in the context of terminal illness, the model has since been widely adapted to all forms of grief, from death and divorce to job loss and unexpected life changes.
While not everyone experiences every stage or in a specific order the framework helps us understand that grief is not a singular emotion, but a journey through multiple emotional states. So when people ask, “How many stages of grief are there?”, the original and most commonly referenced answer is five.

The 5 Stages of Grief Explained

1.Denial

Denial is the mind’s first defense against an emotional shock. It allows you to process your loss gradually, often leading to feelings of numbness or disbelief.

You might think or say:

  • “This isn’t happening.”
  • “There must be a mistake.”

Why it happens: Denial protects you from the immediate weight of loss by helping you function day-to-day, even if only temporarily.

How to navigate it:

  • Give yourself permission to feel numb or confused.
  • Surround yourself with support, even in silence.
  • Avoid rushing to “feel better” too quickly.

2.Anger

As the numbness of denial fades, pain begins to surface and often emerges as anger. This anger may be directed at others, yourself, the universe, or even the person you’ve lost.

Common thoughts:

  • “Why is this happening to me?”
  • “They didn’t deserve this.”

Why it happens: Anger creates emotional structure; it gives your grief a target. It may not always feel “rational,” but it’s a valid and common response.

3. Bargaining

In this stage, we may try to “negotiate” our way out of the pain. It’s common to think about “what could have been done differently” or imagine scenarios that could have prevented the loss.

Examples of bargaining thoughts:

  • “If only I had taken them to the doctor sooner.”
  • “Maybe if I had been a better partner…”

Why it happens: Bargaining is a way to regain control in a situation that feels wildly out of your hands.

4. Depression

When the full reality of the loss sets in, it’s normal to experience deep sadness. This stage may bring feelings of emptiness, fatigue, or hopelessness. It is often the most misunderstood stage, as many people confuse grief-related depression with clinical depression.

Signs include:

  • Withdrawal from others
  • Loss of interest in usual activities
  • Changes in sleep or appetite

How to approach it:

  • Don’t isolate, reach out, even if it’s just a text.
  • Give yourself grace, grief isn’t something to “get over.”
  • If symptoms persist or worsen, consider speaking to a therapist.

5. Acceptance

Acceptance doesn’t mean that everything is “okay” or that the pain has vanished. Instead, it marks the moment when you begin to live with the loss, acknowledging it and adapting to life around it.

This may look like:

  • Returning to daily routines
  • Finding joy in moments again
  • Creating new meaning or rituals to honor what was lost

How to foster acceptance:

  • Reflect on the growth and strength you’ve shown.
  • Keep memories alive in meaningful ways.
  • Focus on progress, not perfection.
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Are There 5 or 7 Stages of Grief?

This is one of the most common questions people ask: “Are there 5 or 7 stages of grief?” While the 5-stage model is the most recognized, some psychologists have expanded it into 7 stages to include more nuance in the grieving process.

The 7 stages of grief are:

  1. Shock
  2. Denial
  3. Anger
  4. Bargaining
  5. Depression
  6. Testing
  7. Acceptance
Both versions aim to describe the complex range of emotions people feel. It’s not about which one is “right”, it’s about which model helps you better understand and express your own journey.

How to Deal with the 5 Stages of Grief

Navigating the 5 stages of grief isn’t a straight line, and that’s okay. Some days you may feel like you’re making progress, only to feel overwhelmed the next. The key is to approach each stage with compassion, patience, and the tools you need to support your healing.
Here’s how to cope with each stage in a practical and meaningful way:

1. Coping with Denial

  • Express, don’t suppress: Write in a journal, hit the gym, scream into a pillow, find healthy outlets for your frustration.
  • Avoid guilt: Feeling angry doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s part of grief, not a reflection of who you are.
  • Seek understanding: Talk to others who have experienced loss. Shared stories can bring clarity and comfort.

2. Managing Anger

  • Express, don’t suppress: Write in a journal, hit the gym, scream into a pillow, find healthy outlets for your frustration.
  • Avoid guilt: Feeling angry doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s part of grief, not a reflection of who you are.
  • Seek understanding: Talk to others who have experienced loss. Shared stories can bring clarity and comfort.

3. Handling Bargaining

  • Recognize the “what ifs”: It’s normal to think about alternate outcomes, but remember you did your best with what you knew.
  • Practice self-forgiveness: Guilt can be persistent, but it’s not always grounded in reality. Be kind to yourself.
  • Shift focus: Redirect energy toward healing actions, like creating a tribute, volunteering, or talking about your loved one.

4. Dealing with Depression

  • Accept the sadness: It’s not weakness, it’s love, memory, and meaning in emotional form.
  • Stay connected: Even if it’s hard, try to keep in touch with supportive people, even briefly.
  • Consider therapy: Speaking with a professional can provide tools to manage prolonged or intense grief.

5. Moving Toward Acceptance

  • Redefine “normal”: Life won’t be the same, and that’s okay. Acceptance is about finding new meaning, not forgetting.
  • Celebrate memories: Create rituals, memorials, or photo albums to honor what’s been lost.
  • Be patient with yourself: Acceptance doesn’t mean you’ll never feel sad again. It means you’re learning to live with the loss.
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Summary

Grief is one of the most human experiences we can have—and one of the most difficult to navigate. Understanding the stages of grief can help make sense of the storm of emotions and give you a map, even if you don’t follow it in order. Whether you’re just beginning to feel the waves of loss or are years into your healing journey, know this: there is no “right way” to grieve. There is only your way.

When someone asks, “How to deal with the 5 stages of grief?”, the best answer is: with grace, support from an expert mental health expert like those from Faith Behavioral Health, and patience. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting; it means remembering with more peace than pain.

FAQs

Traditionally, there are 5 stages of grief, but some models expand it to 7. The original five are Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.
There are both models. The 5-stage model is the most recognized, but the 7-stage version adds more depth with stages like Shock and Testing.
Not always. Grief is non-linear; you may jump between stages or experience them more than once. It’s a personal journey.
Use self-compassion, seek support, express your emotions, and give yourself time. Therapy, journaling, and community can also help.
Yes. Not everyone experiences every stage. What matters is acknowledging your emotions and finding healthy ways to process them.
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Dr Sadaf Noor
Dr. Sadaf Noor Psychiatrist, MD

As a skilled psychiatrist, I specialize in preventing, diagnosing, and treating mental health issues, emotional disorders, and psychotic conditions. Drawing on diagnostic laboratory tests, prescribed medications, and psychotherapeutic interventions, I strive to provide comprehensive and compassionate care for my patients in Frisco and McKinney, Texas, while assessing their biological, psychological, and social components of illnesses. I am committed to helping them achieve healthier and more fulfilling lives through my work.