Overcoming Self-Abandonment with Self-Preservation

Escape Self-Abandonment

Self Abandonment is a concept that many are familiar with but rarely discuss. It is the act of neglecting one’s own needs, desires, and well-being in favor of pleasing others or conforming to societal expectations. This behavior often leads to feelings of emptiness, resentment, and even self-hatred. Self-preservation, on the other hand, is the instinct to protect oneself from harm and maintain one’s physical, emotional, and mental health. It is a necessary aspect of self-care that often gets neglected in the face of self-abandonment.

In this blog, we will explore the effects of self-abandonment, its underlying causes, and how to overcome it with self-preservation.

Understanding Self-Abandonment

Self-abandonment is a common behavior for those who have experienced trauma, neglect, or rejection in their past. It can also be learned from family dynamics where one’s needs were not met, and they were taught to put others first.

The problem with self-abandonment is that it may seem like the noble thing to do – sacrificing oneself for the greater good. However, it stems from a lack of self-worth and can lead to feelings of resentment towards those who constantly take advantage of your kindness.

What are the signs of self-abandonment?

There are several signs you can figure out if you are abandoning yourself –

Neglecting your physical health: This can include ignoring symptoms and not seeking medical attention when needed.

Ignoring emotional needs: It’s easy to dismiss feelings and push them aside for the sake of others, but this can lead to a buildup of resentment and negative emotions.

Putting others first in all situations: While it’s important to be kind and considerate, constantly prioritizing others over yourself can lead to self-neglect.

Difficulty setting boundaries: People who struggle with self-abandonment often have difficulty saying no or setting boundaries because they fear rejection or abandonment from others.

Self-criticism and judgment:  Those who abandon themselves often have a harsh inner critic that constantly tells them they are not good enough, leading to low self-esteem and self-hatred.

If you resonate with any of these signs, You might be forgetting yourself in the process of pleasing others. So, you need to start prioritizing your needs and well-being.

Reasons Why We Abandon Ourselves

Self-abandonment is a learned behavior. It is often a result of past experiences where one has been rejected or neglected by others. But, other underlying reasons contribute to self-abandonment.

Children often internalize the beliefs and behaviors of their caregivers. If they have grown up in an environment where their needs were not met, they may believe that it is normal to put others first and neglect themselves.

Some of the widely recognized reasons for self-abandonment are:

Reasons Why We Abandon Ourselves

Learned Behavior: Self-abandonment stems from past experiences, particularly rejection or neglect, becoming a learned response to challenging situations.

Internalized Beliefs: Children adopt the beliefs of their caregivers, normalizing self-neglect when raised in environments where their needs are overlooked.

Coping Mechanism: Self-abandonment serves as a coping strategy in response to unhealthy family dynamics, fostering a pattern of neglecting personal well-being.

Dependency on External Validation: Individuals may tie their worth to achievements, suppressing needs and feelings and seeking validation from external sources.

Start Feeling Better - Call Our Office Now

Self-abandonment, rooted in childhood, manifests as a repetitive pattern in adulthood. Recognizing its origins and effects is crucial to breaking free from this cycle. By acknowledging and addressing these learned behaviors, individuals can embark on a journey of self-discovery and self-care, fostering mental and emotional well-being.

Overcoming Self-Abandonment with Self-Preservation

Establishing a solid connection with oneself and practicing self-preservation can help overcome self-abandonment. Here are some  strategies that can help you prioritize yourself and your well-being:

Overcoming Self-Abandonment with Self-Preservation

1. Embrace Your Feelings and Needs:

Allow yourself to feel and recognize your emotions, needs, and desires. Practice self-compassion and acknowledge that you deserve to be cared for. Try to transform negative self-talk into positive affirmations.

2. Assert Your Needs:

Self-love encompasses standing up for yourself and confidently expressing your needs. Overcoming the fear of establishing boundaries is pivotal. While it may seem daunting, asserting yourself is crucial for preserving your well-being.

3. Practice Self-Care:

Make time for yourself and engage in activities that bring you joy. Prioritize taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental health by eating well, getting enough rest, spending time outdoors, and practicing self-reflection.

4. Adopt Authenticity:

Try not to compare yourself to others or seek external validation. Focus on your journey and embrace your true self, including all your flaws and imperfections. Don’t change for others; be authentic and be proud of who you are.

Recognizing your feelings, asserting your needs, prioritizing self-care, and staying true to yourself are pivotal steps in overcoming self-abandonment. Adopting these strategies empowers you to break free from old patterns and foster a more fulfilling and authentic life.


Self-abandonment is a common behavior with not-so-great outcomes. But you can beat it with self-preservation – that’s just looking out for yourself and taking care of your needs. So, start today: feel your feelings, speak up for yourself, and take care of yourself. Remember, it’s not selfish; it’s essential for a happy life.

Don’t let fear or feeling not good enough stop you. You deserve love, care, and attention – from others and yourself. Begin your self-preservation journey today and see how it makes your life awesome!

For more information about Mental health and guidance, Get in touch with a specialized psychiatrist now!
About Author
Table Of Content
Faith Behavioral Health Group
Frisco, TX 75034
Faith Behavioral Health Group
McKinney, TX 75071


DR. Sadaf Noor Blog Updated Image
Dr. Sadaf Noor Psychiatrist, MD

As a skilled psychiatrist, I specialize in preventing, diagnosing, and treating mental health issues, emotional disorders, and psychotic conditions. Drawing on diagnostic laboratory tests, prescribed medications, and psychotherapeutic interventions, I strive to provide comprehensive and compassionate care for my patients in Frisco and McKinney, Texas, while assessing their biological, psychological, and social components of illnesses. I am committed to helping them achieve healthier and more fulfilling lives through my work.